This relationship feels like double dutch

Are you in or out, sir?

Relationships have become so challenging to maintain lately and we can blame social media for breaking up happy homes. Sis, really? If IG models are disrupting your home then your man shouldn’t be allowed outside of the house. He cannot and should not be allowed to interact with the human race at all. My question to him would be, are we playing double-dutch or is this a relationship? Let’s get into this week’s story.

All of my friends seek me for advice mainly because they’re fully aware that I’d give my honest opinion, no chaser!

We’ll call this friend, Jenny from Manhattan. We’re adding a location to her title because it serves as backstory and disposition. Jenny relocated to a gated community in the middle of southern Maryland. If you’ve never been to southern Maryland, it’s more rural especially to a New Yorker; you might as well be living on a farm with sheep, goats and cows grazing on your land.  In order to get to the local store; you’d probably have to drive no less than 15 miles and the roads to the store are backroads with no street lights and scattered houses every 20-30 miles or so.

So, she’s out here with her boyfriend of 8 years (yes, I said 8 years) who was offered an amazing opportunity that he couldn’t say no to. Jenny is completely out of her comfort zone but has hopes that ole’ boy would finally get some act rightand marry her one day, soon. Since they moved, he has been distracted and date nights are no longer a thing. Well, he’s a city boy as well so while the money is pretty good; he’s not exactly feeling this slow-paced environment. After a few months, Jenny finds a part time job working weekends; she’s not too thrilled about but it helps pay the bills. Now, every chance ole’ boy gets, he heads back to New York on the weekends.

 

Yeah, something feels shady right? Exactly what I said. She addresses the issue but he tells her she’s imagining things; they go back and forth and she explains her frustrations and he promises to stay home on the weekends.  Well, he decided to fly out to New York during the week because his job allows him to remote. His argument now is that he is compliant with initial request.

Yeah, still shady. Not feeling completely secure in their relationship anymore, she starts stalking his Instagram account and notices there’s been a lot of communication going on with some random but outstandingly gorgeous model. She brings this to his attention and again he tells her that she’s reading too much into it.

He heads back out to New York the next week and she stalks his stories and cryptic posts. I’m not sure how you can tell when someone responds to another person’s message (I think she has his password at this point but she denies it) but she’s reviewing every comment left on his page. This model in particular, posted the night he’s due home, it was great seeing you again; can’t wait until you’re back.

Pause! Hold the HELL up!

Again? Dis this heifa say again?!

Apparently within minutes the message was deleted. Hmmm. As @JesseHilarious puts it, what’s going on in here?!

She asks him about it he denies it, time passes and eventually she finds out that he’s sleeping with this heifa. Soooooo you’re tagging your girlfriend in posts and you both are all over your IG page but you have the audacity to entertain some ‘IG model’ archetype and by that, I mean, not a real model, but a, showing coochie prints and ass shots to seek attention type of model.

Anyway, so after he gets caught, he begs for forgiveness and asks her to marry him.

Bruh, this isn’t double-dutch! Are you in this relationship or not? Why would it take for you to step out and get caught for you to propose to this woman? By doing so does this mean you’ve changed? No, you haven’t however, in order to keep her in your life in the capacity in which she’s been you’re throwing her a bone and hoping she bites. It’s been 8 years and granted, you cannot force a man to be ready but sleeping around tells me that you aren’t ready sir so a ring isn’t going to prevent you from a reoccurrence of this.

She really loves him and said yes under the guarantee that he’d stay off social media.

Uh-huh my sentiments exactly!

Considering all that I’ve shared; do you think this guy deserves a second chance?

I have so many questions but my biggest fear for her is that she said yes to the ring. Saying yes, signifies acceptance to this behavior. Marriage would no longer be an option on the table because clearly this relationship wasn’t a priority. Fellas you either want to be in the relationship or not—all the special flips and tricks, one foot in the door bull$hit is for the birds.

Chime in. What are your thoughts, ladies.

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