Sorry. Not sorry

I’m tiiiiiiied (tired but an intensified version). Forgive me guys; I’ve dropped the ball the past two weeks. Life is happening and I’m busy working on the book along with other projects. Didn’t want to go another week without posting my second blog.

It’s literally 1.52 AM (PST) right now so don’t ask me why I’m up. I set an alarm in case I fell asleep—apparently, it’s been going off for a few hours unbeknownst to me.

Here’s how my Friday afternoon/evening/night (normally) works:

  • Pick the kids up from school
  • Fix dinner
  • Sit down (try to catch my breath)
  • Record 2 weeks’ worth of videos
  • Enjoy movie time with kids

Between ‘sit down’ and ‘record 2 weeks’ worth of videos’ my idea of sit down turned into fall asleep and wake up intermittently. I remember at one point my son asking, “you’re going to bed this early?” and me responding, “no, just resting my eyes.” At which point he took some type of jab at me but I was either too exhausted to retort or to interject.

The middle of the night gets here and I’m wide awake—tossing and turning. Finally, I realized I didn’t plan on falling asleep and decided to get up. The kitchen is a mess because I told my son that I’d put the dishes away so that he could do his part in tidying up. Well, that didn’t happen and being the 11-year old that he is—took full advantage by not waking me up.

My friends are like, yo what’s going on? What are these subliminal posts about? We need updates. Here’s the update to my life, I’m grinding. I’m not dating; don’t have time to. I’m working around the clock either on my book, the blog, figuring out ways to push the envelope a bit with the videos but in a nutshell;I’m burned out.

Single-moms that are going back to school, working fulltime; how do you do it?

I know I’m super hard on myself so I’ll start there. Because I’m doing this mompreneur-ish fulltime, it’s almost as if there’s a sense of urgency to figure it out all at once. Well, apparently the universe didn’t get that memo but here I am trying to do so.

I started another blog to post for Friday but

  1. Wanted to apologize for dropping the ball UHHHgain (translation again)
  2. Wanted to discuss something that is so real for me and hopefully relatable

I’m not going to continue beating myself up (at least not throughout the blog) but it’s hard doing this fulltime—both kids are in different school districts at opposite ends of where we are located and on a Friday afternoon, a twenty-minute drive in San Diego can be about forty-five minutes. Thankfully it’s not as bad as some areas in California but considering the fact that it’s just me; at times I’m like WTF.

When we were in Maryland, I didn’t have help either but something about starting over, giving your all to the dream; is sort of like a do or die moment. I don’t have time to waste and all of my time is accounted for in some way. I don’t have a job that provides some cushion so it’s literally all or nothing.

If you guys follow me on Periscope, you’ll know that I host this hilarious show with one of my dearest friends, Steven Green (@TheHumanIpod)—check out his music here; he’s pretty fkn dope. I won’t often say that to his face because he already has a big head. LOL. However, we’ve been hosting this show, Judgment Free Friday since 2015 with some hiatuses because life happened for both of us but…after constant discussion decided that it was in our best interest to indefinitely suspend the broadcast.

When you’re living your dream, people assumed that I’m on the beach every day, just kicking my feet up—well, some days—but it’s not my reality.I may do that from time to time to take a break from the hustle. S*it is real—my bills are real (we live in one of the most expensive states), feeding my kids are real but in order to keep the dream alive, I have to perform at an exponential rate which doesn’t leave room for things like, random video chats, phone calls and meaningless time doing anything that doesn’t relate to the grind.

When you’re living your dream, people assumed that I’m on the beach every day, just kicking my feet up—well, some days—but it’s not my reality. S*it is real: my bills are real! Let me live. #mommyblogger #mompreneur Click To Tweet

I hate to make it sound so black and white but it’s my reality right now. I’m working non-stop and some things must be sacrificed for the dream. Call me selfish but the only thing that can monopolize my time is my kids and putting in the work—hopefully when it’s said and done my friends still love me the same. LOL.

There comes a time in your life when you have to be able to stand firm in your decision and those that are affected by it truly have to just, get it(even if they don’t). At one point I felt bad for being so inaccessible and thought, if they don’t get it then they don’t get me.

There comes a time in your life when you have to be able to stand firm in your decision and those that are affected by it truly have to just, get it(even if they don’t). #entrepreneur #mompreneur #mommyblogger Click To Tweet

My texts or phone calls might be scarce but it’s grind mode to the max so, sorry; not sorry.  Shrugs shoulders. I’ve got a few friends that aren’t so pleased with me right now but that’s life. I can’t please everyone.

So, my question is, how to do maintain balance with the grind, momming (a term I relate to motherhood), a love life, and fit friends and family in there somewhere? What takes priority when the grind is a necessity?

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