So, what do you do for fun?

I hate new dating.

Saturday is my birthday, guys and I cannot wait to turn up and by turn up I mean, not work, not grind so hard, but still work…just not as much! You’re judging me already; I can sense it. Cut it out!

THANK YOU… now, let me explain.

It’s just us in San Diego and my antisocialism is set up to be very…cautious; if my sixth sense or momma bear intuition, goes off—I never second guess it.  However, when you know you have a problem; the first step is in admitting, right? Okay well, I don’t have a problem; I’m just a little over protective. It’s a possibilitythat I found a potential sitter but I’m still watching her like a hawk. There’s nothing wrong with installing hidden cameras in my house, right? Right!(I answered that for you.)

Alright, fine. Maybe the problem is that I don’t have the motivation to find a sitter. This dating in 2018 is daunting and I’M READY…I think…LOL but don’t really have time. My tunnel vision is both a good and bad thing. I’m focused on my brand and goals overall, doing this single mom thing and dating doesn’t really fit my schedule. While I enjoy the newness of a relationship, I can’t stand the formalities. “So, what do you like to do for fun?” I could literally hurl my phone at someone for asking me that question. I want a guy to be chivalrous because it’s polite  and it’s normalcy but reality is after a while, guys get so comfortable they stop doing the ish that got us. Can I go on a date like, so what’s your problem? What are you going to stop doing after you visit my candy shop and get warped into my hypnotic black girl unicorn magic? (yes, it’s like that!) You’ve got abandonment issues, trust issues, don’t know how to stand on your own issues? Have you been completely broken and now I have to come in and attempt to repair, raise my kids and somehow help you raise yours?

 

Let’s take all the politeness from relationships. We all have baggage. Some of us have fully healed or at least 80% before they get started in something new but the reality is most of us are jumping from one to another.

A guy can flirt with me on Monday and I might blush, play with my curls and laugh at his stupid a$$ joke that really isn’t funny! He can approach me on Tuesday and repeat the same steps but get a completely different respond. I might just stare at him without blinking or Iook at him like he let out a really rotten one.

My therapist calls that bipolar disorder but I call it, ain’t got time for bs. People say, OMG, you’re going to be the cat lady in the corner house if you don’t start dating, it’s been two years since you’ve officially split…blah, blah, blah, blah…

I’ve said that to say, I had a small wish to be taken out on a date for my birthday BUT not with a stranger. Since I don’t have time to invest in a partner, I chose to enjoy and celebrate alone. While this was and is my reality, I wish I could say a parodic version but I swear these thoughts are always bubbling in my head 99.99999999% of the time.

Word of advice: if you’re not ready, don’t let anyone convince you that you are. Dealing with breakups, divorces particularly takes time. So, what it’s been two years? Add the fact that I relocated to another state; I’m rebuilding my life and there’s no timeframe on that.

If you guys have recently started dating, when did you know you were truly ready? Let’s chat.

2 Comments

  1. I love your story! Hugs sis! It’s been longer for me and I’m still like what really nah I’m good! Focusing on me! They just want the 🍪

    1. Hey girl! Thanks for reading. Thanks for sharing… I agree; I’m so focused on me right now and do not have time for the games.

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