Kindergarten beef is REAL

Ladies, do you remember when your mom, grandma, great aunt, or someone with vast knowledge said, kids will change your life? Do you remember thinking to yourself, “if you could do it then I DEFINITELY can” but you never quite said it out loud because you might have lost your teeth.

Don’t get me wrong parenting CAN be rewarding—notice my choice of words. Read between what I’m NOT saying. Most times, you’re beating yourself up, questioning everything you’ve done, reevaluating decisions and overthinking so much that it drives you to drinking. I referenced these issues in my blog, “Sorry. Not sorry.

There’s no fkn handbook to parenting; you merely give your all and hope the stress from your children doesn’t kill you. LOL. Sometimes you want to snatch your child up by the pigtails or grab your young boy at the nape of his fresh shapeup and wear their behinds out!

Aye, I don’t know about y’all kids but mine…I think they have weekly meetings to decide what they’ll fight over this week. Their battles are trivialandcolossal at the same time. My son is 11 and he calls it the pre-teen stage but I call it, “you’re about to swallow this fist if you don’t watch ya mouth” phase. My daughter…

I’ll take dramaticfor $100, Alex.

Lawd-ha-mercy!

My daughter is the most creative and petty 5-year old known to mankind. She will provoke my son until he reacts then she’ll come with snot running down to her chin, eyes puffy as ever, and say, “he yelled at me and I didn’t even do anything…”.

I’m tired of breaking up their fights. The other day I think I pulled an all-nighter and my kids fought over who got more cereal than the other, another time, I told my son that I loved him then my daughter said so you don’t love me?  When did I-I-but—uh, it’s no use.

 

 So recently my daughter started fighting using what I call kindergarten calmersthat somehow tempers children and helps them ration their decisions.  I think it’s stupid af…

My son wakes up groggy, hungry, smelly (he sweats so much in his sleep…) I dish out their breakfast but Maliha says she isn’t hungry so I place hers in the oven. My son sits in the chair she normally sits in, I return to my bedroom to hear yelling.

What are they fighting over now? I’m thinking.

They’re fighting over Maliha’s chair. Now, she wants to eat. She looks at Marcus and says, “it’s my chair! Sharing is caring Marcus and you’re not being a good sharer.”

I just want to break all the chairs at this point.

I get involved and fuss her out for conveniently wanting to eat now that Marcus wanted the chair but instead he starts siding with her and tells me that I’m taking this too seriously. He is willing to get up and allow his sister to have her chair because he wants to be a good sharer.

What the entire FK just happened?

Now, I‘m the bad guy when I was trying to alleviate the issue. Even though they’re 6 years apart, he gets down to her level and almost subliminally speaks it. I’m pissed because I’m over the petty wars meanwhile they’ve made up and have carried on.

Now, I only get involved if someone is crying. My patience is over it all and I can’t anymore, y’all. Does this sibling things change over the years? It seems as if I have to gauge which battles I’m expected to break up because sometimes they resolve the issue. I’m over it all but I hope I’m not alone. Do your kids argue over petty bs? Or is it just mine?

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