Distractions are the reason you haven’t written that book, started your business, found a web designer to work on your website or made that big move that you’ve been thinking about for the past couple of months…or, if you’re like me, years.
I spoke of my unhappiness in my marriage in my last blog. It’s sad that as humans we fear the unknown which involves stepping outside of your comfort zone. Instead of seeing a situation for what it is we seek comfort in avoidance. We look at everything but the situations themselves. We avoid our truths because in avoiding them we don’t have to deal with painful realities.We avoid our truths because in avoiding them we don’t have to deal with painful realities. #impulsiveExpressions #avoidance Click To Tweet
I’m sorry to break the bad news to you but you’re only prolonging the inevitable. If God has written something to occur, no matter how you run from it; it will happen! For years, I was so focused on my marriage, and being a mother that I averted the ventures that would quench my satiety. Don’t get me wrong, there was no greater gift than being a mother and when I was happy with my partner, being his wife. However, I soon disregarded the dreams I once cherished as an undergraduate student at Morgan State.
I remember roaming through Holmes Hall, a place that every Liberal Art student came oh so familiar with, thinking, I can’t wait to return here as a published author. I got so wrapped up on being everything for everyone that I forgot about being an individual.
My reality was that, I was twenty-six with a baby that now depended on me. As a result of my upbringing, I would sacrifice it all to give this child the world. And, I did. I stopped writing because it wasn’t paying the bills. I stopped thinking about writing because I was busy chasing something that was never mine. I stopped dreaming because I thought, what are the chances that out of the millions of people searching for this dream; that I’d be the serendipitous one.
My marriage was in the pits of hell and no tears or counsel would help. I prayed for God to strengthen it and no matter how hard I prayed; I was ignored. Still, I held on with dear life until my blistered finger tips calloused over.
Lost. Confused. Shattered. The helpless romantic stopped breathing and spawned someone broken as fk! The bottled-up pain needed relief as I was slowly losing my mind. The woman that was only a wife and mother didn’t know how to seek refuge—she didn’t know who to turn to, who to trust, or who would empathize.Lost. Confused. Shattered. The helpless romantic stopped breathing and spawned someone broken as fk! #broken #impulsiveExpressions #distractions Click To Tweet
I turned to the only thing that ever provided solace, my pen. About two journals after, I realized that I’d been running from the story God had been asking me to write. I decided to start a blog. YUP. Haven’t written in years and now here I was…willing to share my thoughts to this cruel and opinionated world. Terrified and unsure of what to expect, but I knew what had to be done.
Fast forward six years later, book still not written. Why? I allowed my distractions to get in my way, again. Over and over again I repeated a pattern without ever realizing. Until I learned about the laws of attraction. Sometimes we ask God for guidance and in turn the universe responds with exactly what we need but we circumvent from the obvious and somehow find ourselves weaved into another distraction.
Finally, after about fourteen years of God saying, write the book, I’m finally listening. Funny thing is that, while I thought the book was for others; I only recently realized that it was for me.
Sometimes we seek confirmation from loved ones to tell us that we need to leave an unhealthy relationship or assurance from an entrepreneur that’s been where we are to say, start your business; it will be successful. We want to jump but also require reassurance that there’s some type of padding on that cold concrete we may potentially land our asses on.
It doesn’t work that way. I’m here to tell you that life will happen whether, you acknowledge or hide from your purpose. If you’re feeling lost, confused, not sure what your next steps should be, I have some advice that helped me every time I found myself distracted.
5 Steps to avoid distractions:
- Stop looking outside. We tell ourselves the tale that we don’t need validation from anyone. Yes, we do! Especially us strong, black women—we always have to be strong or at least appear that way because the world won’t allow us to be any other way. Don’t ask your momma, your best friend, your line sister; you pray and watch God work.
- Stop overthinking. Sometimes God has sent the answer several times but it’s almost as if we want it stamped on our forehead like that V8 commercial. If you are still uncertain, ask for the spirit of discernment so that you can receive it as it’s delivered.
- Stop thinking you aren’t equipped to do what’s necessary. Like food, water, shelter, the things some of us take for granted, God has blessed you with the utensils you need. If you have to write that book by hand, then do it! J.K. Rowling, the billionaire and author of the Harry Potter books, wrote the first installment by typewriter. Now, this heifa can buy a billion MacBooks if she wanted. LOL! My point is, don’t get hung up on what you don’t have. Take advantage of the resources that are at your fingertips!
- Stop looking for the entire staircase. The hardest thing to do in my entire life was to part ways with my husband. I kept praying and God kept showing me signs. There were times I felt like I was in the dark because I didn’t know what my next foot step would lead to but I trusted completely in my savior. I was nervous, anxious and sometimes afraid, but I didn’t allow that fear to deter me from moving when God said, move here, or do this.
- Lastly, be courageous enough to move. Moving doesn’t always mean making that big LEAP! Moving simply means motion. If you’re sitting around feeling sorry for yourself or looking for excuses then you’re immobile. If you’re working around the clock to take care of your family or working and going to school fulltime and you only had two hours this week to work on your big idea, then you’re moving! Acknowledge your motion, no matter how minute.
Well, luvs. Every time I get into what I call my emotional blogs, it drains the heck out of me. The benefit is that you all appreciate and can relate to my rawness so I will continue to deliver. Please, stay focused and remove things that may distract you but also, give yourself credit for any movement you make.